I want to encourage you, especially if you are a leader. Leadership isn’t always easy. On a scale of 1 to 10, how are you with people pleasing? Is that an issue for you as you lead others? As I did a bit of research, I wanted to know the root of people-pleasing. Psychology Canada states that the root of it is fear of rejection or failure, which could possibly have started from childhood. A few traits of a people-pleasing leader are: does not assert him/herself, values praise from others, and undermines his/her own needs (Psychology Canada, https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/people-pleasing).

Next, let’s discuss wanting approval. As a leader, do you find that you make decisions that are based on what others may think of you? Do you withhold your opinion because it differs from others whom you are leading for fear of rejection? Is your drive motivated by what others say about your leadership, and you as a leader?

Lastly, as a leader have you placed boundaries around your role as a leader. Do you find it is hard to say “yes” when others may ask you to do particular tasks? What do you think will be the outcome when you say “no”? I used to be a “yes” person, and boundaries weren’t firm. However, over time, I realized I was the one who was feeling burdened and overwhelmed because I allowed my plate to be full beyond my capacity. So, it was a process to get to the place where I have set boundaries, and can say “no” without feeling guilty.

Ladies, we’re all a work in progress. Let’s strengthen ourselves as leaders and reflect on where we stand in regards to: people pleasing, wanting approval, and saying “yes”. Change doesn’t happen overnight. However, we can start the change one step at a time.


Be encouraged,

Aisha Nixon